Funny

The sex was so good even the neighbors had a cigarette

Funny

The woman has read this entire text the man is still looking at his thumb

Funny

The more people I meet the more I like my dog

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Funny

The liver is your enemy abuse the hell out of it

Funny

Support bacteria theyre the only culture some people have

Funny

The gene pool could use a little chlorine

The gene pool could use a little chlorine!

Funny

Sorry I dont date outside my species

Funny

STFU

Funny

Some people are only alive because its illegal to shoot them

Funny

Sometimes I wake up grouchy other times I let him sleep

Funny

Simon says

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!

Funny

Some people are like slinkies

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Shut up I wear heels bigger than your dick

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Silence is golden duct tape is silver

Funny

Seen it all done it all Cant remember most of it

Funny

When it’s good it’s very good

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Secret for longevity

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Screw hugs Im gonna tackle you when I see you

Funny

Sarcasm is just one more service I offer

Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.

Funny

Remember when somebody annoys you

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Redneck word for today Obama

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Refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person

Funny

PS Dont forget to take that stick out of your ass

Funny

Real friends show me their boobs